It’s Baltic around here.

by Elias Blum

I have several friends and acquaintances who have come from the Baltic states to Scotland to live, work and study. They seem to be largely in favour of independence. Funny, that.

But I’m sure – given the news that David Cameron has been trying to get Putin to oppose Scottish independence – that the USSR-OK campaign will remind them of the many ‘unanswered questions’:

(1) “Without Ruble, what do Separate Latvians for currency?”

(2) “Without mighty war machine of Glorious All-Russian Empire, how do Separate Lithuanians defend from bears?”

(3) “How travel people of Separate Estonia to other countries?”

(4) “How these countries govern themselves, without Great Wise Tsar in Kremlin to keep in order?”

(5) “Where do they get potato, if not Mother Russia give subsidy?” (Grow own potato from clever working hard? Ha! Is not possible for them!)

(6) “Why not Autonomous Oblast? Is best of both worlds!”