A Chancellor’s Ditty

by Elias Blum

Screen shot 2014-08-22 at 19.25.09

There’s ‘opportunity in Britain’
For the one percent on top
As for you other blighters
You must put up with your lot.

Don’t grumble, but be silent
Even though you work and pay
It’s the oligarchs and plutocrats
Who really rule the day.

And it’s no use you complaining
You ‘poor, wee, stupit jock’
Your ‘wee pretendy parliament’
Is stuck in London’s lock.

For the land is owned by ermined others
Who sit in the House of Lords
And make the laws that rule you
And voted for our wars

But if you vote YES in September
Britain’s glory-days will end
So please, poor jock, remember
That Darling is your friend.

[This is a slightly amended version: I cut two verses that didn’t work. I mean, it’s still pretty poor doggerel verse, but at least the worst excesses of unoriginality and bad scanning have been pruned away. I don’t pretend to be good at this sort of thing.]