Last minute Devo-extra: An offer we cannot refuse

by Elias Blum

On the mind of a trimmer

Well, that changes everything. Like the former Prime Minister, I’ve had a sudden last-minute conversion to devo-max.

All will be well if we vote No, because Gordon Brown’s got a timetable (all written out in his own joined up handwriting and everything). Really. Honest. Just vote No.

That’s right, folks. Rule Britannia! Learn to love the House of Lords! 103 years and counting since they first tried to reform it, and still going strong.  Three cheers for the City of London and its management of the UK economy! They know a thing or two.

Hurrah for nukes! Let’s go invade a hot sandy place – there’s plenty of oil to pay for that.

Cameron really cares, and who needs the European Court of Human Rights or a written Constitution anyway? Those good people in Westminster sure do know what’s best. And they’ve never lied or let us down yet. I fully trust in their excellent plan.

It would be difficult to be independent, and why bother? It’s ok as it is, right?

I mean, it could be worse.

And Ian Davidson is so cuddly – so trustworthy compared to ‘that man on the telly’.

I fucking love cereal, too. Crunchy and soggy, pooling and sharing in the bottom of my bowl. The best of both worlds.

(Now, I’m away to buy myself some shares in a fracking company, a privatised health company, and a manufacturer of riot-control equipment. It’s going to be rich pickings off this carcass.)