Saturday Morning: A Tragedy in One Act.

by Elias Blum

Penis: Morning! What a glorious day! Can’t wait to get up-and-at-’em!

Man: Urgh. What time is it? Need a cup of tea… ..ouch, the light…

Penis: Let’s go play! Come on, sleepyhead, just snuggle yourself that way a bit… ..yes, that’s it, lovely .. ..smells of girl, sweet!

Wife: Oh, I see you are awake at last. Good morning.

Penis: Hello, missy! Am I glad to see you? You’re looking fine, fine, fine! Come here, you gorgeous thing, and get ravished!

Wife: Oh, feeling horny? Hmm, that’s nice. Mmm.

Penis: Yeah, that’s it, baby, come to papa..,

Man: Urgh. What’s going on? Penis, leave me alone. My head hurts. It’s too early. Urgh.

Wife: Oh, what’s the matter? Well, make your mind up, one way or the other!

Man: Er… ..ok. Er, could you make me some tea, please? Preferably very slowly, with no sudden movements.

[Exit wife, to kitchen]

Penis: Drat, you loser! I was on form. Now I’m going to have to wait all day!

Man: Shut up, dick-brain, or I’ll Bobbit you.