Suicide Blues

by Elias Blum

One drink too many, one line too long, too many mornings already gone wrong. Been so long, I’ve been feeling so blind, deep down in the dark dark night. Forty days you’ve been tried and tested, forty nights you’ve been out in the cold. But there’s gonna be peace in the valley tomorrow, because tonight he’s gonna blow it all away.

Oh Lord he feels so twisted, he ain’t never gonna fix it, just waitin’ for the light to shine on a brand new day. Sometimes the light don’t shine, that’s the time you gotta open your eyes, because you and me baby gonna get rehabilitated. Teardrop on her black dress, she’s reaching for the rosary beads. Remembers when that boy was ten, sang ‘No body knows the trouble I seen’. Now you don’t dance to techno anymore.

In that morning I wanna be walking, I wanna be walking on to glory. Cos up above my head I hear music in the air. And together we’ll keep on reaching.

My father-in-law, was, in his own way, a bold, principled, honest, fearless and generous man (if not always an easy or agreeable one) who could not come to terms with an imperfect world, couldn’t find a strong enough reason to live, and chose to tackle death head on, on his terms, rather than letting death take him on its terms. I salute him.

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