On Pubs and Bars
by Elias Blum
A pub is somewhere you should feel comfortable to spend the whole day and even take children during earlier hours. It should be a cosy place, decorated in a friendly and welcoming manner. There should be games available such as pool, darts and a quiz machine. The better ones will even have dominoes, chess and backgammon sets behind the bar. There ought to be a jukebox around with the entire Led Zeppelin discography or at least get the lads to bring their guitars and fiddles and we’ll kick up a tune ourselves. If you’re there at lunchtime hours expect pies, fish & chips and a half-decent tikka masala to be available. If the pub takes even the least amount of pride in what they do there will be a good choice of real ales served at cellar temperature as these actually taste of something unlike near-frozen mass-produced lagers.
A bar, on the other hand, is a truly dreadful place. Tastelessly decked out in chrome, pine and mood-lighting, this hell-hole is full of wankers from the City getting shitfaced on shite like Bud and Kronenburg whilst listening to god-awful repetitive pop music at near deafing volumes.